It started with a knot – the story behind my blog

***NB You can probably skip to the last couple of paragraphs to get the point of this, but feel free to go through the rambling first!***

I knit.  I love it, I love creating things, and get a great sense of achievement when I finish something.  That said, I get bored with my projects very easily, and am more likely to start a new one than finish an old one.  I currently have two scarves and a baby blanket on the back burner - oops my friends baby is due in August!  I should get back to that one. 

However, I’d moved on to a more pressing event – my friend’s Hen’s Weekend, for which I wanted to make a garter.  It was a beautiful little piece, that she loved.  But during the construction of the garter, I got a knot in the wool.  It was one of those knots, where both ends were occupied, and I’d left the knitting overnight, but somehow it managed to become ridiculously tangled.  So I made some breakfast, switched on the tv and set about untangling. 

 As the hours went by, I thought about what I would do when the knot was untangled.  It was a beautiful day, so I would definately go for a walk.  And I would dust and vacuum.  Oh and tidy my room before heading to my parent’s house for dinner.  But then it was 4pm and time to go, so I ran the vacuum over, had a quick shower and set off. 

By 10pm that night, I was back at the knot again.  I’d made real headways during the day, but as the hours went by (thank god Mum and Dad have Foxtel!), I was slowly but surely going made.  And the reason behind it, was doing something like getting a knot out of wool, gives you WAY too much time to think.  And I’d decided that the knot was representative of my life, a tangled mess, and if I didn’t get the knot out now, I never would, and I would never sort my life out – I know, stupidity. 

It wasn’t until about 5am, I came to the stark realisation, that the knot was not my life, and what was going on here, was much more significant.  What had happened, was I had a project – to make the garter.  Then a distraction came up – the knot.  Suddenly I made the knot my project, placing more importance on that than the real project. 

My Mum had suggested I cut the knot out and continue with the real task.  I saw that as failing, but really it was a different (better!) solution to the probkem, and would allow me to get on with the real task without wasting time.  I had fobbed her off at the time, but it was in the wee hours of the morning, that I realised how true this was, and that this was all very representative of my current life – I have spent years procrastinating and diverging from my real goals, and always think that those branch-offs are so much more important than the real goals I was avoiding. 

But the question here is what am I avoiding?  In regards to the garter and the knot, I really wanted to finish that garter and present it to my friend – why was I sabotaging this, by wasting time on a stupid knot?!  And in the greater picture, I have some real things I want to achieve in life, I think they would make my life more fulfilling, so why do I avoid them and go off on unproductive and sometimes crippling tangents???

I hope to explore these issues (among with the many others I have) in this blog.  I have been seeing my life coach, we’ll call her Coach, for about 6 weeks now, and she has been integral in keeping me on track and helping me sort my life out.  She guides me through discussion and activities, and it was her idea to get me into blogging.  I’m loving this new little world I’ve found, and am keen to explore more and connect with some interesting people.

To keep everything somewhat confidential, I’ll give all I know an alias – my friends will be come number (haha I’m sure they’ll love that!) and others will gain names along the way.  Safer that way!